&let go.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

continue-ing from previous post...

Maggi feel like going to her closefriend, nugget and hotdog and hug them. tell how stress and scared she is in this condition. but she cant. Noodle was too close with her. if she just make 1 cm. move, just one cm... something like kissing will happen. and she dont want that to happen. again, for the second time, she cry because of scared.. scared of her own bestfriend did something bad to her. her bestfriend, Noodle. that always make her happy when she was crying. But now, she cry because of him. she feel like as if she was the cry baby. but she cant take it! her tears is the same as her fear. Noodle saw a drop of water come out from her eye.. her beautiful eye. the eyes that make him want to look at it everyday. the eye that make him hyper. the eye that make him feel like missing someone everyday. He let go off maggi.

He let go off maggi. "sorry" the only word he can say...
maggi open her eye..

" come on noodle.. i dont think you love me. i know you love macaroni very much. the girl you waited for 1 month or more?. but was rejected recently. i know how you feel. you can share with me, your problem. i will be by your side, as a friend. bestfriend.."

Noodle cant take it. he scream as loud as possible. Maggi was shocked. half of their member came-fishball, fishcake, hotdog, nugget...

"whats happening??" asked 4 of them in one shot..

"sorry" the only word he can say...

Hotdog and Nugget went to get Maggi who looks really scared. Maggi still standing there like a statue. her mind was blank, totally blank. She dont know, why the hell, her life being like this? did she make a mistake by liking him? maybe, but she cant help it. the feelings come by itself. no one can neither stop nor start it.

Noodle look at Maggi. With frustration-expression but disappointed in the heart. Why cant Maggi just gave him a chance. just one more chance. he would be the happiest guy but sadfully, Maggi dont want to. Maggi was going to open her mouth and say that she will give Noodle 1 more chance to show how much she loves her. but when she was about to open her mouth.

"ok, if this what you want Maggi, I will take you as my bestfriend then." said Noodle, " but remember, if one day i bring a girl with us, dont show me your bloody sad or angry face."
Maggi felt like there was a big stone hitting her in the heart, she stare at Noodle. She dont know how she felt now, happy? sad? nothing? she just dont know what to say.
Noodle went away from there.

"mag, are you ok?" asked fishcake and fishball..
maggi nodded...
" are you happy?" asked nugget.
"haha, of course im ok with it. i take him as a bestfriend fullstop. get it? not more" lied Maggi
"hope you not lying. ok lets go home." Hotdog hold Maggi's shoulder as if she can give her strength by that.

so the 5 of them went back together. Noodle looks again at Maggi when he want to take his bag. his heart really ache, its really hurt. Maggi never even glance at him. he was waiting for her eye to at least look at him even for a second. but it was wasting time. he went off from there.
when he turn his back, Maggi turn her head. She look at Noodle with sad-expression. she wont tell anyone that she still like Noodle. that was a promise. She will only tell if its really needed.
BOTH of them, felt sad. BOTH of their heart hurt but dont want to tell anyone about it. BOTH of the feel like crying. they protect their ego too much. and so it be.

what we could have been, 3:39 AM.

this was what happen.. :(
Maggi like Noodle... kind of a lot. But Mag take it this as a immature love. they are still young, in addition odle likes someone else. and yeah, at first Mag felt sad about it, but its not so bad right? but after 1 month waiting for the girl odle loved, he was rejected. One fine day, as per normal, maggi, noodle and their buddies were slacking under the void deck. Odle came to Mag and ask her to follow him to the blok infront. so yeah, Mag agreed. they were sitting next to each other, but Mag seat a meter away from Odle. Odle get irritated because when he try to seat right next to Mag, she will move a meter away again.

"Mag, why you keeping a distance away from me? Am I a monster? It wont harm sitting next to me"
Mag just kept quiet, she feel awkward, she had tried to forget about him and take him as a bestfriend and not more. it will only hurt her feeling if she kept thinking about liking him.
"eeer.. hehe.. sorry. why do you need me to come here? is there anything you need help? or you want to share secret with me and release your stress out?"
"Do you think i will always find you to only talk about my problem?"
again, Mag kept quiet. she's speechless. she dont know what to talk.
" i still remember the day we chat together with the rest and they asked whether you like me as a friend or more. you said you like me more as what we are now. do you really mean it?"
"eeerrr.. why are you asking me this? lets talk about different thing. like ap..."
Odle knows Mag trying to change the topic. But he dont want to...
"Im asking you a question mag."
Mag feel like fainting. she dont know. why the hell, he asking her that question. she feel like running away from him. she felt like HELL! Mag nodded her head, yup.. she likes him dearly.
"what if i like you, would you be my girl?" Mag was shocked.
"i ask you this Odle. do you ask me for stead because of sympathy or love??"
silenceeeee~
"you were waiting for her answer. you waited more than a month but she rejected you recently. and now you come to me and asking this question? do you think Im a doll that you can take anytime you want?? "
"NO! DONT SAY THAT KIND OF STUFF!" Odle shouted.
He dont know what to say. but the fact is, he really loves Maggi.
"why cant I? If she accepted you. Will you break with her up? and appear to me and ask me to be your girl?" Odle kept quiet and Mag felt like she's being treated like a doll.
"and thats the answer? no? right? so lets just be friend" mag was trying to get away from Odle.. while she's walking away from him without turning, Odle grab her hand and leans her against the wall. their buddies saw whats happening. Mag was scared, she have never seen Odle being that rough towards her before.
"MAG! i love you! get it? I LOVE YOU!" still grabbing Mag's hand. Mag's face turn red because of fear. Odle grabbed her wrist too hard, but still Odle never notice.. never...
"please Odle let go of my hand.. its painful"
" I wont! is there still love for me in your heart?" mag kept quiet.....
Mag stare down the floor, tears roll down... one drop, two drop, three drop and so on. Noodle still doesnt realize it. He still grabbing Mag's hand.
"please let go of my hand.... its painful....."
Noodle quickly let go of her hand. He just realized his roughness and disappointed with himself. 2 of Mag and Odle buddy, fishball and fishcake ran towards them..
"GUYS! WHATS HAPPENING HERE!? come on!! dont be weirdo, can? get it? haish! Noodle! come on! Maggi is a girl! be more soft to her can?" shouted Fishball.

Noodle glance at Maggi. He felt that he had made the biggest mistake by making Maggi cry. But he can't do anything right now, left with regrets. four of them went back to the void deck. the rest of ther buddies just watch them and kept quiet. All of them.. ALL, knows that Noodle like or can say love Maggi. but they dont want to get involve in their personal problem. let mag and odle solve by themself.

when they reached under the void deck. Maggi was the first one to take her bag and left that place. her feelings- sad, disappointed, hatred, angry and many more towards Noodle. but she's too late, Noodle grab her hand again, but softer this time. Maggi still look at different but not Noodle's handsome face.

"Now Mag, tell me. is there any love for me?"
Maggi still kept quiet. yup, there is love for Noodle. But she still thinks that Odle doesnt really love her. She dont want to hurt her feeling, her own feelings. and so she lied.
"no, there's none! let me go. i want to go home." Mag answer the question without looking at Odle
"look at me, and say, no you dont love me. 3 times. then I let you go..."
Maggi try to pull her hand. sadfully, Noodle grab her hand tighter. with her fullest strength she try to pull her hand again. But who is she? she's just a girl. even if she's strong. Odle will be stronger as a boy. Noodle grab both of Maggi's hand. Maggi gave up. she's tired.
"please... let me go! pleasee.they are looking at us. dont you feel ashame?" begged maggi.
yes, their buddy looking at them. They just dont want to get involved, but Maggi really hope at least 1 of them stop Noodle. she really have no strength left.
"no, i dont feel it. if you really feel shameful then lets go behind there, so no one can see us." "NO! i dont want. i want to go home."
ignoring Maggi's shouting. Noodle pull maggi hand and go at the back of the blok.
"happy? no one can see us now." thats what Noodle said.

Maggi look around her, there was noone. she have no reason to run away from the guy she love that was crazy now. she's sweating although the weather was not hot but breeze-ing.
" come on Odle. please. you are making crazy! just let me go from here. lets just be friend. bestfriend. its better to have friendship than relationship. I dont want if our relationship wont last long, we will be enemy. but if friendship, even after fighting or what so ever. we will still be friend!" mag said while looking at odle face, and continue saying "moreover, i dont like you anymore."
this time looking at some where else..
" dont like me? haaah~ then, look directly in my eye. and say you dont like me, 3 time."

Maggi motionless. She plan to run away from there. Noodle turn his body around. and Maggi try to run away from there as fast as possible. but Odle was so wise today, he saw Mag's movement. Odle grab Mag's shoulder, pull her towards the wall, roughly and bring his face closer to Maggi's. Maggi close her eyes. she was too scared, very very scared. in 19 years of living, this is the first time a guy was that close with her, other than her father. They can hear each other breath. it was too near, too near that they can feel their own breath mixing together in the air. Mag's eye was still close, Noodle was smiling. He dont know why. but he just feel like kissing Maggi's lips. he come nearer to Maggi. Now they can feel each other body temperature, eventhough they are not hugging, even their body doesnt touch each other but it was warm enough to make the cold weather comfortable. Maggi collect all her strength to open her eye...

"pleaseee Noodle.. dont be like this." facing the other side so that noodle facing her cheek.
"I wont move a single inchi, if you dont look at me and say that you dont like me 3 times."

what we could have been, 2:47 AM.

hey reader! if you always view my blog since last year regularly.. do you remember i wrote story? love story. and i stopped half way. cause busy.. i think i will repost.. and continue the story... should I? i think i should.. okaaaay~

what we could have been, 2:21 AM.

Monday, March 15, 2010

I just make friend with his one guy dont know from which country named Joshua.

i know him from tagged and add me at my MSN for strangers. haha~

yeah! he's awesome!! the way he play the guitar.. POOOSSSHHH~~~

and i really likes guy who play well in guitar.. gosh! he's really something.bahaha

and he played pink panther and Iron Man-Black Sabbath.. that was my favourite..

anyway have a great webcam with him.. eventhough i dont own 1.. :(

what we could have been, 5:45 AM.

Friday, March 5, 2010

hello all, gosh.. i was damn tired to even post something at my blog. but i just felt like doing it today..

oh yeah, just now after school. I was walking with all my friend. and suddenly got this 2 boy keep looking at me and one of them keep pointing towards me. and say " oh, this one? this one?" oh gosh, they got any problem with me or what?
it was so obvious that they stared at me and the pointing finger was like totally infront of me.. craziness..

and, shit! afiqah's wallet is with me.. tomorrow she going to come to my house and take it. haaiyyoooo.. so leceh.

just now went to watch floorball match. it was damn fun with the cheering, shouting, banging.. having fun with sakinah, khaniza, hazirah, Naim and Shapek.. woolalaaaa~ so fun! one of the part, hazirah was paisey and she lie down on me? haha.. awesome. very the sekeping. it would be better with zahira and pika

sakinah lent me her dvd santau.. damn it. scary for me. and my mum's became the victim. cause whenever im scared of something. i really need to grab someone's hand.. THANKS MAMA!

ah daaamn, fatin bestie! SARANGHAE.. keep smsing with me ya.. or i will miss you! :D

what we could have been, 5:07 AM.